This has been a post I have been wanting to write for quite some time now. (Ha, clearly, since it’s the end of January and I am just getting around to posting it).
The New Year always brings about talk of goal-setting and reflection, which seemed to be especially prominent as we enter a new decade. Normally, I like to reflect too and discuss goals I’d like to achieve and priorities going into the new year too. But I found it difficult this year. And up until this point, haven’t felt like writing or thinking about it at all.
2019 was undoubtedly the hardest year yet. It was the year that I witnessed the most suffering and a year I am really ready to leave behind.
I know there were so many good things I’ve experienced this year, but the bad just seems to outweigh the good. I usually like to write about uplifting and hopeful topics, so I've gone back and forth about how to process my feelings on this subject and whether or not to share them at all.
Grief is a weird thing. Moving forward makes me feel guilty. So wanting to think about 2020 and the goals I have for it, felt wrong in a way. But on the other hand, it has made me contemplate life in a totally different manner. Tomorrow is not promised, so why wait to do anything?
I’ve asked myself over and over again if I am living in a way that I’m ok with. Am I really happy? Am I being complacent or am I going after what I want? Am I prioritizing the right things? Am I being a good friend, daughter, wife, coworker? Am I saying yes to the right opportunities and no to the ones that don’t align with my values? Am I stressing about shit that just doesn’t matter? How do I really live in each and every moment? How do I stay in a state of gratitude and stop letting the small things get to me?
As I write, I am both sad and grateful. Sad to see so much heartache around me and to move into 2020 without people I care deeply for. Grateful to still be breathing.
Anyways, to get back to the here and now, we’ve spent the first few weekends of the year spending time with friends and family and venturing up to Maine for some fresh air and activities. I’ve also started a new job and am welcoming the change in pace and all of the blessings that come with change. As far as goals go, there are a few key areas of life that I have been wanting to dive deeper into.
+ Financial Independence
+ Law of Attraction
+ Healing (physical, emotional and spiritual)
+ Creativity
+ Travel Hacking
Diving into books, blogs, podcasts, and following inspiring people on Instagram have all been my primary ways of learning more. I’m letting my interest guide me and learning as much or as little about a subject as I desire. The internet is an incredible place if used wisely, filled with endless resources that I am finding tremendously valuable. In terms of day to day life, here’s what I want to focus on:
I want to become content with what I have while still dreaming of better things to come.
I want to honor time.
I want to enjoy where I am and find appreciation in everything, even if it isn’t obvious.
I want to work on not letting little things bother me.
I want to stop looking for approval from outside sources.
I want to have more confidence in all areas of my life.
I want to worry less.
I want to keep reading and absorbing wisdom.
I want to stop being so resistant to things that aren’t working the way I imagine them to, because the universe is so much smarter than me.
I want/need to release control.
I want to focus on healing, without obsessing over my body and rather giving it space and time to heal.
I want to travel with people I love.
I want to move towards financial independence.
I want to slow down.
In reality, it’s so easy to write a to-do list of intentions and new habits, but it’s much harder to make the decision and commit. Change comes from the daily grind and determination. I don’t quite have a game plan yet, but I think there are some daily habits I could implement, like reading, meditation, movement, getting outside, etc. that could help me honor these commitments.
Most of them, if you’ve noticed, are mindset-related. They aren’t super specific or actionable goals, but more about learning to live with peace of mind and big-picture shifts. So even though I don’t have the exact practices that will bring me closer to each goal in mind yet, I am hoping that people, places, things or obstacles will help me recognize these challenges and begin to move me through them, learning as I live.
Wishing you all a very happy and generous 2020! XO